The Dark Romance

可以做我父亲的人在一起了

kě yǐ zuò wǒ fù qīn de rén zài yì qǐ le

old enough to be my dad.

我贪恋跟他在一起

wǒ tān liàn gēn tā zài yì qǐ

I stuck with him

可以宣泄我对父亲的想念

kě yǐ xuān xiè wǒ duì fù qīn de xiǎng niàn

so as to vent my feelings of missing and guilt

和愧疚

hé kuì jiù

to my dad.

我的耻辱

wǒ de chǐ rǔ

I feel ashamed

不止在于我跟他在一块

bù zhǐ zài yú wǒ gēn tā zài yī kuài

not only because I was in a relationship with him,

而是在这个过程中

ér shì zài zhè ge guò chéng zhōng

but also because I thought

我一直认为那是爱情

wǒ yì zhí rèn wéi nà shì ài qíng

it was love during the whole process.

从高中

cóng gāo zhōng

From high school,

到大学

dào dà xué

to university,

到研究生

dào yán jiū shēng

and to graduate school,

我一直把这种畸形的关系

wǒ yì zhí bǎ zhè zhǒng jī xíng de guān xì

I had always regarded this peculiar relationship

认定为是爱情

rèn dìng wèi shì ài qíng

as love.

当我感觉到他疏远我了

dāng wǒ gǎn jué dào tā shū yuǎn wǒ le

When I felt he was pulling away from me,

我还特意买了一条新裙子

wǒ hái tè yì mǎi le yī tiáo xīn qún zi

I even bought a new dress

穿着去见他

chuān zhe qù jiàn tā

and went to meet him in it.

我看到他

wǒ kàn dào tā

I saw him

和一个十五六岁女孩在一块

hé yí gè shí wǔ liù suì nǚ hái zài yī kuài

with a girl who was 15 or 16 years old,

他对我

tā duì wǒ

that what he felt

根本不是什么独一无二的爱情

gēn běn bú shì shén me dú yī wú èr de ài qíng

for me wasn't some unique love.

我只是他

wǒ zhǐ shì tā

I was simply a prey

贪恋青春

tān liàn qīng chūn

of his lust

畸形爱好的一个猎物而已

jī xíng ài hào de yí gè liè wù ér yǐ

for youth and his quirk.

这不是你的错

zhè bú shì nǐ de cuò

That wasn't your fault.